Johnny

Did I miss the "No Rest For The Wicked" Meeting?

I figured with having a gap between the end of one job and the start of another...that I would be afforded a few days of relaxation to reflect on the road ahead.

WRONG! *Buzzer sounding the incorrect response*

Since I have left work on Wednesday I have be treated to...

A day fun packed with manual labor.
A craft night that resulting in no crafting.
A painful conversation that didn't end till 4am...which led to...
A Day of exhaustion.
A broken cell phone that will cost me 200 to replace.
A conversation where I got the distinct impression where I am going to
be distant from now on from someone who has been closer to me than anyone
over the past few years.


My beloved Mr. Croup is in the evil clutches of a vet that I had no choice to take
him to. I just got off the phone with the rat doc...only to be told he has no idea what
is wrong and he thinks Mr. Croup would not survive the blood-work. So... I now have to wait to
whether it will be just me and Mr. Vandemaar around here...

Yeah...
So much for my vacation :(
Johnny

It is good to recognize an issue you have with yourself...

I can't let things go. I think as I have gotten older and acquired my scars from the emotional tumbles and scuffles...I have gotten jaded.
My question is... where do you draw the line between standing up for your own feelings and being unreasonable? I know as I type this that there are people in my life who will alternately smirk and scowl at me wondering this aloud.
But...in the end I think I need to make some difficult choices in my life and this seems to be the stretch where alot of that is going on.
Johnny

*Dusting out the cobwebs* Sitting In The Daddy Chair

It has been some time since I have posted in Livejournal. I am not even sure who reads this anymore. I figure that enough time has past and there is enough distance between me and the circle of people I let annoy me in this forum in the past to check back in. But more-so, I am checking in because of the changes going on in my life.

I have accepted an offer to be a Director of an IT department. Granted it is not my dream of owning my own coffee shop... but it will give me a better financial footing for whatever I choose
to pursue down the road. I have weighed this move out for awhile...but I think it is time. As much as it is a big step...I have always wanted the chance to run my own department and call the shots.

Also, I am living alone for the first time. At first I thought I would find it weird...but I can honestly say I have never been happier. There was always a comfort and camaraderie in having roomies. However, being able to keep my things together and define my own space has been amazing. I try to not look back in my life, but I wonder a little bit if I shouldn't have done this years ago. I think probably not. I had so many amazing late night conversations and morning reflections with my roomies over the years....that I would never want to lose out on. So I guess I will say the evolution of me is on track and think nothing more of it.

On a more personal note...taking the time to be alone "romantically" has given me alot of perspective on myself. I have realized that some of my own expectations and standards have been
unfair for anyone to live up to. In the end I held everyone up to an ideal that based around a person who wasn't even honest with me most of the time.

So...I imagine I will be around here posting more if anyone reads this stuff anymore. Life is good and first the first time I can say I am not really afraid of change. So far...this year has been full of changes and "firsts" for me. Each one as amazing and important as the last.

And now... to plan out for Dragon-Con. I have just realized that it is just around the corner!!!
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